This month’s lesson with Lily came from a tough day at school.

I received a message from her teacher explaining that Lily had gotten into a couple conflicts with classmates during the day. One interaction in particular involved another student repeatedly teasing her with comments like “boys rule, girls drool.” Eventually, Lily became frustrated and reacted emotionally instead of walking away from the situation.

If you know Lily, you know this behavior is very out of character for her. What hit her the hardest wasn’t even the classroom issue itself. It was the feeling of disappointing others and getting in trouble. By the time we got home, there were a lot of tears, emotions, and frustration pouring out.

After nearly an hour of talking through everything, we finally got to the real issue. She felt hurt, embarrassed, and upset because someone else’s words had gotten under her skin.

That opened the door for a really important conversation.

I explained to Lily that people are going to say things throughout life that are unfair, rude, annoying, or simply untrue. That never fully goes away. It happens in school, friendships, business, leadership, and everyday life. The real challenge is learning how much power we allow those words to have over us.

I told her something I hope sticks with her for a very long time:

“No one should be able to ruin your day unless you give them permission to.”

That concept is easy to say as an adult, but much harder to practice, especially for a passionate six-year-old with a big personality and even bigger emotions. Still, this was one of those moments where a difficult day became a meaningful teaching opportunity.

As a parent, it can be tempting to immediately jump into fixing the problem itself. Sometimes, though, the bigger lesson is helping kids understand how to respond when life feels unfair. Emotional control, resilience, and confidence are skills that need practiced just like reading, math, or sports.

Ironically, the same lesson applies directly in business.

As leaders, business owners, and professionals, we constantly face criticism, negativity, rejection, and frustrating interactions. A customer may complain unfairly. An employee may challenge a decision. A competitor may say something frustrating. If we allow every comment or difficult interaction to control our emotions, eventually it controls our performance too.

The strongest leaders are not the ones who never face negativity. They are the ones who stay steady despite it.

That evening, after we finished talking, I created a motivational picture for Lily to print and hang on her mirror. It simply said:

“Today is going to be a great day!”

Not because every day is perfect.

Not because nobody will ever say something upsetting.

But because our mindset and response matter more than the noise around us.

Some lessons come from magical vacations, exciting adventures, or fun family moments.

This one came from a hard day at school and a conversation through tears on the couch.

Honestly, those may end up being the lessons that matter most.

WRITTEN BY

David Behney, Founder & CEO

David Behney is the Founder and CEO of Behney Management Strategies, where he helps small businesses achieve their big goals through expert C-suite consulting. With a background in fractional CFO services, David now provides strategic guidance across finance, operations, marketing, and technology to businesses with $1M–$30M in revenue. Passionate about driving growth and sustainability, he partners with business leaders to build strong foundations and navigate challenges. Connect with David to take your business to the next level.